from the nursery

meet Sadie, Portuguese Water Dog and mum of my puppy. one of these adorable little wigglers will be coming home with me late in July, after the breeder has made her selection. my daughter and granddaughter have already named him for me.... Maestro. Porties are one of the 'hypoallergenic' breeds. this was a big issue for me, as i'm very allergic to furry things. they were bred in Portugal (what a surprise) by fishermen, for use as working dogs. they helped set nets, ran errands from boat to boat, and did water rescue. they're now used predominantly as water rescue dogs. very intelligent, males about 65 lb, high energy with long wavy hair. Sadie has had a haircut.

my ReStore is on the edge of an undeveloped area which is popular with homeless people in our city. they have good taste; it's a lovely part of town. but some of my board members worry about my safety during the time i spend at the store alone - opening and closing, and working before and after hours. so, when i suggested that i might have a dog with me at the store, they liked the idea.

it's a bit odd, this sudden loneliness i'm feeling. my dear friend Laurie, who died recently, lived more than a thousand miles away, and there were sometimes stretches of time when i didn't see her for a couple of years. at times we kept in touch only sporadically, over the 30 years we knew each other.... it's not like she was involved in my daily life. but she was always THERE. reliably and permanently connected directly to my heart. i've never felt such loneliness as i've experienced since she died. it's an ache that just doesn't go away. so i want this puppy very badly. unsure what the connection is, but there seems to be one. perhaps i'm expecting too much of this pup. but i think in need something that needs me, and that needs to be exercised and entertained, to bring me out of my funk, as i tend to be reclusive when i'm unhappy.

i've mentioned to my staff that there may be a pup joining us at the ReStore later in the summer, and shown them the pictures. after the 'aaaaaaw's' they stoically assured me that it would be a hardship, but they thought they could tolerate that.

The excitement is BUILDING!

And, lo, a mighty host appeared, clothed in shining .... denim? and the joyful sound of .... hammering? was heard throughout the land.

Behold, Habitat for Humanity Waynorth's 2010 contribution to breaking the cycle of poverty through enabling low income families to own a home. This is an ICF (insulated concrete form) duplex, with walls rated at R50. Windows and doors are all low E - i'm told you can nearly heat these places with a candle. The folks you're looking at are Habitat for Humanity staff and board members, and some very generous building contractors who are providing their services at very low cost. This was our first 'official' meeting w everyone all in the same place. Not easy to manage, but a lunch meeting with free pizza convinced them to come. We're also hoping to begin a renovation in the fall, of a home built in the 70's, in need of TLC, which we may be purchasing from the city.

These folks all look pretty ordinary don't they? That's the really thrilling thing about Habitat. Everyone IS pretty ordinary. No divas or superstars. But together we make a very big difference.

I was in my granddaughter's classroom this morning. She and i did a little musical interlude for everyone, with our violins. About 15 kids. So far, our little HFH affiliate in north-of-sanity Waynorth has put 9 low income families with a total of 30 children in their own homes. It's been shown that NOTHING breaks the cycle of poverty more effectively than home ownership. That's 2 elementary school classrooms full of kids whose families now have equity in their own homes to help build their futures with.

I love my job.

Life goes on. AKA in memory of Laurie

o the summer time is comin'

and the trees are sweetly bloomin'

and the wild mountain thyme

grows among the purple heather

there's a chokecherry tree in full bloom not 20 feet from my open window. the air is thick and sweet and intoxicating. it's like breathing sparkling wine. little green heads are butting their way through the earth in lovingly tended flowerbeds as i walk the city streets. on the walking trails along the creek, i smell the trees growing. hear the sunlight dripping like amber honey off their leaves, feel it mingle with the salt on my skin.

there are babies everywhere. puppies and kittens in the arms of children; lambs and calves in the new-green fields; acres of baby plants at the local greenhouse. the very air is pregnant, thick with plant hormones. life is beginning all around me.

i sit, with silent tears washing my cheeks, remembering a garden on the Sunshine Coast, and the gardener who will not return to it. ever. her partner has planted 3 new rose bushes in her memory. i'll plant some here, as well. and lavender. she loved roses and lavender.

Laurie and i met nearly 30 years ago, when she advertised in the local newspaper for female musicians to start an all-girl band. we jammed a bit, and things clicked. then we discovered that we'd both signed on for high school upgrading at the local college the coming fall. i was a single mum with 2 small kids, and she was tired of playing the bar circuit. we both needed to 'better ourselves'. so we were going back to school. though we continued to make music together for all those years, we never did pull the all-girl band together.

once school started that September, we spent almost every waking moment of the next 8 months together, studying our brains out. there weren't a lot of options available to upgrading students, so we had almost identical class schedules. i'd been a complete bomb as a student prior to this. in retrospect, i think as a child i was at least marginally ADHD. it didn't even 'exist' at that time, and it presents differently in girls than it does in boys, so i was just considered a 'troubled child', or 'difficult'. add a gluten intolerance (also unknown at the time) that makes me sleepy and depressed and unable to concentrate, and an extremely dysfunctional family background, and you have a kid all of the teachers pass just because they don't want to have to deal with her for another year. in that 8 months we spent completing high school upgrading, Laurie taught me how to study. i'd drive up to her house every morning in my huge, ancient Chrysler, and pick her up on my way to school, and drive off with her in the front seat, and mountains of school books in the back seat.

we studied. hard. and we both worked evenings as well. all my life i'd been told i was stupid and lazy. until then, i believed it. Laurie wouldn't believe it, so i tried harder than i'd ever tried before. there were times when our social studies teacher would show these filmstrips on history. ....with a recorded male voice droning endlessly on about socialism or communism, then a ping to tell the operator to go to the next frame. the room was a mini ampitheatre, with concentric semicircles of seating rising from a circular area at the bottom, where the screen was. Laurie and i would sit side by side in the front row where no one could look back at us, and set our notebooks on the table in front of us, open for taking notes. we'd each hold a pen in one hand, and we'd lean our heads and shoulders together for support, while we took a nap. we both had jobs to go to after school was out. and i had kids to take care of after that. when we'd been awarded top marks for the program, the social teacher told me, "i knew you two were sleeping up there, but i couldn't say anything, because you got the best marks in the class." we got top marks in every class. when i held that diploma, and that wad of awards in my hand, i thought. "i'm NOT stupid. the sky's the limit. i can do anything i set my mind to." and i signed up for the B. Mu program.

Laurie took us to our first live theatre performance. it was The Hobbit, and it was magical. i'd read the book to the kids. several times. we all loved it. My 4 year old daughter spent the whole time of the play in terrible fear that every time the lights went down or the curtain closed, it was over. she SO didn't want it to be over. i spent the whole time expecting someone to realize that we didn't belong there. waiting in shame for a tap on the shoulder, and an angry voice telling me we'd have to leave. but the tap on the shoulder never came, and this was the beginning of my love for theatre. Laurie was the first person to show me that where i came from is not who and what i am. since that first magical show, i've been in many, serving as musical director for several of them.

when i re-married, Laurie stayed with my kids while we went on a honeymoon, and when, years later, my husband left me, i went into a complete tailspin. Laurie sent me a plane ticket to the Sunshine Coast, where she and her partner had just bought their dream home. it was a total package, also including a detailed itinerary with a bus ticket to get me from the airport to the ferry, and a ferry ticket to get me to her side of the pond, where she picked me up, took me home, and mothered me back to something close to sanity.

after several years of unexplained illness, while she studied for her B. Ed. Laurie was diagnosed with Multiple Schlerosis. it took her 8 years to do the 4 year program. much of the time she was in hospital. at the end of her 6th year, she was in a wheelchair. they told her she'd never walk again. i think it was at this time that she was also diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis, which causes joints to fuse, and is extremely painful.

but she didn't accept that. over the next 2 years, she progressed gradually from a wheelchair to a walker, to two canes, then one, still working her way through the B. Ed program, and when she graduated, Laurie was not only walking, she was cycling, x-country skiing and swimming. her gift to herself on graduation was a cycling trip through Europe. during that trip, she received a standing ovation from the patrons of a small roadside cafe in Greece, who watched her toil up the side of a mountain as they sipped their morning coffee. as she coasted down from the summit, and through their small town, they rose to their feet, clapping and cheering. they had no idea how much she deserved that, or how much it meant to her.

.... and those are only highlights.... i could write a book about this amazing woman, my dear friend Laurie.

i don't understand how spring can come without her. it should still be winter.

It's over

This is Laurie. Artist, musician and gardener extraordinaire. Weaver. Philosopher. Educator. Devoted friend.

Laurie died last week in a scuba diving accident on the Sunshine Coast. She was one of my dearest friends. A sister to my soul for over 25 years.

I am broken.

An Old Woodland Cree Story

meet Flower and Snoopdog, my granddaughter's best friends. Flower looks like a cat, but he isn't really. my daughter found him years ago, a very young kitten, nearly frozen to death (he only has 1/2 his tail as a result) in a parking lot in -35 degree weather. So Snoop, being a gentle little guy, took him under his wing, so to speak, and mothered him. As a result, Flower thinks he's a dog, and they're inseparable.

Seraphine just posted a picture of a much loved, and recently deceased pet, and her usual gentle tongue in cheek commentary on the state of things, which brought to mind a story a friend told me years ago. she was working on a degree of some kind, and studying Cree traditions. most of the first nations people in this part of Canada are Cree. Woodland Cree, specifically, in northern Alberta. So in her research, she came across this story, which she told to me.

it seems that in the days before memory, dogs and cats were very good friends. they enjoyed each other's company and lived peaceably in villages alongside each other. their lodges often stood side by side. on this particular day, the dogs were having one of their clan meetings in their lodge, and the cats went about their business as usual. now, at that time, dogs were very fastidious creatures. not only did they wipe their feet before entering the lodge, keep all of the firewood well away from the fire pit for safety, and NEVER leave their bones laying about the place, but they also removed their bung holes before entering the lodge, and they hung them on a special many-branched pole that was erected just for that purpose outside the door of the lodge.

cats had a mischievous side then, just as they have now. in fact they were well known in the villages as tricksters. on this particular day, one particular cat didn't have enough to do. he'd caught a fish and eaten it, groomed his fur, and sharpened his claws, had a nap in the sun, and there was still a whole lot of day left to fill. he strolled past the lodge where the dogs were meeting, and he heard them all discussing matters of import inside. for a while he watched the patterns the smoke coming through the smoke hole in the centre of the lodge roof made against the clear, calm sky. and as he rubbed against the pole in the lodge entry, he looked up and saw the bung holes. just as he had many times before. just where they always were when the dogs were meeting. but on this particular day, those bung holes gave the cat an idea.

with a delighted flick of his tail, the cat ran to the door of the lodge. he poked his head behind the skin covering the doorway, and shrieked, "Fire, fire, the lodge is on fire!" then he darted out of the way to hear and see the fun. from inside the lodge, the dogs took up the cry of "Fire, fire!" and crashed into each other, and into the support poles of the lodge in their panic to get out of the single doorway. there were yelps and growls, yips and howls such as had never been heard in the village before. by the time the first dog's snout was thrust out the doorway, a crowd had gathered outside. as he raced to safety with others snapping at his heels, the first dog out snatched the first bung hole that came within his reach and put it on. the second dog out did likewise, until everyone was safe and accounted for.

when they realized they had been tricked, they were relieved that their lodge was not harmed, but they were not pleased. and there was a loud hue and cry to find the culprit who had so disrespectfully interrupted their important meeting. of course it was a cat, but WHICH cat? they never found out, because just when they were getting all worked up about a possible conspiracy, they realized that they'd all put on the wrong bung hole.

and they've been checking each other out ever since, in an effort to get their own back.

Frosty says "Farewell!"

he's shrinking, and his proboscis has abandoned ship. it  was actually in the act of deserting as the photo was snapped!  winter, usually an evil tempered hag by march, is suspiciously mild just now.  no doubt she's in lamb's clothing. it's an ill fit. she'll shed her unwelcome skin any day now. be assured that we'll be seeing the lion bare its fangs before april lifts her sweet face.  the streets and pathways are a sheet of ice each morning, and a torrent or a quagmire by the evening meal.   the heat of the sun on bared skin is a lover's tenderest kiss. buds of tree and shrub are pregnant with summer-to-come, in the latter, much swollen phase of gestation, where even a cautious sidewise glance brings empathetic discomfort.  winter, the deceitful harpy, isn't finished with any of them yet. she'll have one last bite at the naked skin so newly caressed, and do her best to abort the unborn green yearning for life. 

but she hasn't beat us yet.  

i've an evening to sit by the little electric fake fireplace i put in my condo in the city, with a glass of northern alberta honey wine close to hand, and my feet up, catching up on friends in blogland.  the fireplace is fake electric because the condo assoc won't let a real one near the place, it being an old building.... and i like the house cool, but my poor skinny little granddaughter turns blue before long when she comes to visit.  so, as i don't want to discourage visits from the apple of my eye, i found a cute little corner thingy that looks pretty realistic, if you don't look too closely.  i turn it on when she comes over, so there's a warm corner for her, and the darlin' girl loves it.   sits herself down in front of it to do whatever it is she's doing on a given day, with a happy smile.   life is good.

and busy!   living in the city, and teaching violin for the local college's music conservatory in my (hysterical laughter) spare time, there are all sorts of musical opportunities popping up like mushrooms.  this photo was taken by a professional photographer friend, for me to include in my portfolio.  haven't even sent it out, and already i have numerous harp gigs booked over the coming year, on top of the usual ones with the Irish band.  we just had the faculty and conservatory recital last night, which was filled to capacity.  a little daunting, following after folks with Master's Degrees in Music with my celtic fiddling, but it seemed well enough received.  and no one so full of themselves that they look down their noses at the rest of us.  

the ReStore is doing well, picking up nicely after the expected lull over the dark of winter. the sun is stronger each day - the worst of the dreary season over..... and our Habitat for Humanity affiliate is planning our 2010 build!  we've been approached by the city with an offer to purchase a property they got through a mortgage default, that they've been renting out for years.  it's in very sad shape, but structurally sound.  AND a local builder has offered to frame and sheet a duplex for us, billing us only for his cost, for us to finish.  if it all comes to pass, we could be building, not one, not two, but THREE homes for local families this year.   As our average since 1996 has been one home every two years, this possibility is THRILLING!!  i'm enjoying being in the thick of it.... which means a lot of time spent away from the ReStore.  Fortunately i've managed to snag a very excellent employee, who i've just promoted to Floor Manager, as the affiliate has suggested changing my job description/title to include that of affiliate Executive Director.  it's a big vote of confidence, and very gratifying - and exciting. they may be sending me to the national AGM in that capacity in April, if i can convince them that i can be trusted not to loose my passport again....  here's hoping!

spring blessings 

so that's what's been happening.  hardly been home to do more than eat, sleep and wash my dainties.